Avoid horrendous blackmail!

99% of us agree that the succinct definition of a submissive is: Someone who cannot be wholly content unless they feel helplessly in the power of a pitilessly cruel dominant. So the dominant needs real power. Without real power all that happens is simply a game and most submissives do not get their itch wholly scratched unless things are real; not a game.

For several reasons I believe the most intense yet benign source of power is that I and many other Dommes wield. The sub has a choice. Accept whatever domination activities the Domme wants to impose or there will be no domination at all. I have known professional dominatrices who are in high demand with a large client base that use a very similar power; which works well for them and the sub. When it comes to appointments, visit me once a month or you will never get to see me again. When it comes to activities in the session. Obey me or you will never get to see me again.

For some couples the wife/girlfriend can get their power by demanding an activity, and if the sub does not agree to the activity, some sexual pleasure he adores will be denied him, until he does agree. (The wife/girlfriend has to be very confident the sub will not simply get the sexual pleasure he adores from another woman.)

Then there is genuine employment. I have known subs with a pitilessly cruel, dominant boss. Her power comes from the employment. The pitiless cruelty may only be unfair treatment of the sub and humiliating dressing down in private or in public. The boss may not be into DS at all and have no idea the sub was addicted to his mean boss. In my vanilla life I once met a very senior female manager who confided to me she very much enjoyed giving males under her control, public dressing-downs. (I entered her office as a very uncomfortable looking male was walking out, and that triggered her comment.) I never knew if she was into DS or was a radical feminist and I did not take the risk of sharing my ‘peccadillos’ so I never found out.

Then we come to, fairly safe BLACKMAIL. This can be photos or revelations the wife/long-term girlfriend can threaten to share with a sister or mother or friend. It can be very powerful, but there are minor risks.

Horrendous Blackmail

First I will post a brief account of ‘serious blackmail’ femdom. I have no doubt many of you submissives will be quite affected by the account because that is the nature of your irrationality.

The example account I remember vividly of an on-line dominatrix is as follows; and screenshots were provided to prove veracity. We will call the victim Fred. First she played along with Fred’s fantasies and he became quite enthralled. Then over time she got his employers name and address and email, (which she checked out by phoning them and asking for him, then hanging up when they said they will put her through). Using that information, she forced him to give her his wife’s name and number. He of course, being a submissive was deeply affected and aroused to be truly under her TOTAL power at that point. (he already knew she was pitilessly cruel so she then met the definition. Then it all went wrong for him because she was a RECKLESS AND UNCARING sadist.

Obviously her fees went up and became mandatory and regular, like a direct debit. Then the reckless cruelty began, on top of the financial side. The incident that sticks in my mind is when she instructed him to go to a huge supermarket and buy a large cucumber, a packet of condoms and a tube of KY lubricant. AND NOTHING ELSE. He had to send her a photo of the receipt. And it had to be done peak time on a Saturday – date and time being on the receipt. The screen shot of the DM exchanges between them are emotional. As he pleads and pleads not to do this, offers money which she takes and then carries on with the same instruction anyway. Totally gratuitous cruelty and a truly helpless male with no option but to comply. Which he eventually did and the supermarket receipt was displayed on her website. I have no idea what happened to him.

BUT IT CAN BE MUCH, MUCH WORSE

In my example above, the Domme was an attractive and real, pitilessly cruel, dominant. There are however, certainly women, and even men, who are not into BDSM at all. But they have seen the opportunity for an income provided by a pretence of being a sexy female Domme. They could be on sites like Fetlife or on BDSM contact sites, or simply leave comments on a blog like mine. So my warning is, unless certain conditions are met, NEVER give your real name, or your full address, or your employment details, or anything else that can bring your non-DS world into your DS world. (And remember even a photo of your face on their Twitter or Facebook means a very low but possible chance of being seen by a friend or family member.) Those conditions should include a phone call with the Domme, then a face to face with the Domme, and quid-pro-quo, getting the proven name and address of the Domme.

IN SUMMARY, please be careful. (In my BDSM manual, I do describe the process I use when meeting a new person I wish to involve in my DS life.)

Finally, if there are sources of power I have not listed, please leave a comment describing this power source.